Making the tough choice

A special guest post by my wife.

There will come a time at some point in your NICU journey when you will need to make a tough choice (several probably). Whether it’s a course of treatment that has increased risks attached, an operation on your already sick baby, agreeing to a DNR, or even just going home; there are many tough choices you have to make. 

As I come to write this I realise just how many tough choices my road to being a mother has already entailed. And they’re choices, they’re not great, or ones that you’d ever want to make. But they are still choices. Each time I have tried with the best of my ability to make them with my girls in mind. Tried to make sure I’m making the right choice for them and not for me or us as parents.  

Over the past few days we have been faced with some very difficult choices regarding our daughter’s last course of treatment. We’ve made them in advance because I’m not ashamed to admit that when those choices need to be acted on I’m not sure I could make them with just my daughter’s best interest at heart. 

I am proud to say that despite making some heart wrenching ones my husband and I have made the right choices for our girls and if nothing else I’m hoping it’ll be a comfort for both of us in time to come. 

We’ve been told several times that what we are doing is incredibly brave. I don’t know whether it is or not, but I do know that making the tough choice sometimes really sucks no matter how right it is.

So when you have to make your tough choices know that the only thing that matters is you make the right ones for your baby and your family. Then in time I hope you will find comfort in what you chose regardless of how painful it may have been at the time.